Favorite Jokes (from Focus on the Family mags)

These are really good jokes to share with the whole family!

Oh, Yummy
A young pastor was making his first visit to the home of an elderly woman who was ill. As they chatted, he nibbled on the peanuts that were in a dish on her bedside table. When he got up to leave, he said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I've eaten all your peanuts."
"That's OK," she replied, "I can't eat them anyway, and I'd already sucked all the chocolate off before you had come."


Buoyant Belief
When a pastor visited a small congregation, two local pastors treated him to an afternoon of fishing. After they were in the boat about half-hour, the first pastor said, "I forgot my favorite lure in the truck. I'll be right back." He jumped out and walked on the water to the shore. He retrieved his lure and calmly walked on the water back to the boat. The visiting pastor was amazed! A little while later, the second pastor said he needed to contact his office, but his cell phone was in the truck. He, too, jumped out of the boat, walked on the water to the shore, made his call, and retuned the same way.
At this point, the visiting pastor thought he should demonstrate the same kind of great faith, so he jumped out of the boat but immediately sank.
The two local pastors looked and each other and said, "Should we tell him where the stumps are?"



Casket Caper
Three friends were talking about how they wanted to be remembered and what friends might say when taking a last look at them in their coffins.
Max said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a spiritual leader, and a family man.
Zachary said, "I would like them to say that I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God and that I made a huge difference in people's lives."
Don said, "I would like them to say, 'Look! He's moving! ! !' "


Hope you all had a nice long laugh,
SB